“I have the worst class; I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the year.”

“My kids won’t stop talking for even a second!”

“I can’t seem to manage my classroom. Maybe I’m not cut out for teaching.”

Does any of this sound familiar?

Perhaps you’ve heard a coworker say something similar, or perhaps you’ve said these things yourself.

Whatever the case may be, there are classes that are more naturally well-behaved and other classes that might seem like they are going to ruin your year.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

My Nightmare Year

Before I became an elementary teacher, I taught at a preschool with children from two-and-a-half to five-years-old. It was a means to an end, and it helped me pay my way through my elementary education degree while getting some experience in the education field.

My first year as a preschool teacher went well. I had kindergarten-ready students, and my biggest behavior problem was high-pitched whining from a child who didn’t have a “quiet” setting. Altogether, it was a great class, but I knew it couldn’t last forever.

The next year, most of my students had moved on to kindergarten and I had a brand-new class of students. Many of these kids were two or three-years-old and a far-cry from being kindergarten-ready.

On top of that, I had several severe behavior problems.

One child was in foster care because his mom was abusing drugs and had neglected him. He was far-behind developmentally and lashed out anytime something didn’t go his way – which happens often when you’re a preschooler. He would hit other children and even bit me when he was in trouble.

Another child was allowed to hit his brother at home when they had a disagreement. Naturally, he assumed this behavior was appropriate at preschool too. He had a very short fuse, so hitting other students happened often for him.

I also had three girls who made a pact to misbehave together. During naptime, they would run around the classroom away from the teachers and refuse to lie down. One of the girls even decided to climb on top of the furniture instead of getting on her mat. I couldn’t run toward her, because she would start trying to get away, which was even more dangerous than being on top of the furniture in the first place. I also couldn’t leave her on top of the bookshelf!

Another child had absolutely no discipline at home. One day, when his mom was dropping him off, he started hitting her repeatedly. At first, she ignored him and did nothing. And then?

She bribed him.

“If you stop hitting me, we can buy a robot from the store after school.”

My jaw dropped.

She told me several times over the course of the year that she didn’t think it was healthy to tell her child “no” and that she didn’t want me to either.

This child screamed bloody-murder when something didn’t go his way. He would hit other students and teachers alike and would often throw furniture or toys when he was upset.

Who's to Blame?

Several parents voiced their concerns about the safety of the classroom. They could see how chaotic it was. They knew certain students’ names – the ones who would hit other kids if they were upset. Other parents got to see the child mentioned above hit his mom during drop off. They saw other students scream and hit each other in the classroom, too.

Their concerns were valid.

But they never seemed to blame me for all the chaos and the hitting. A couple parents said directly that they knew it wasn’t my fault, that they sympathized with the difficult classroom I was dealing with.

This validated my feelings that I wasn’t to blame, that I couldn’t do anything about it, and that I would just have to suffer through.

My class was an absolute mess, and I was at a loss.

I came home every day, completely drained from dealing with the extreme behaviors that the majority of my class exhibited.

At first, I resigned myself to my fate. I was about to finish my degree, and I thought that, if I could make it through this year, I would be okay. I would move on to elementary school where students don’t bite their teachers or hit their parents at drop-off.

I also blamed the parents. It was their fault that my class acted the way they did. The behaviors I saw in my classroom were a direct effect of their parenting (or lack thereof). I told myself that it wasn’t my fault. There was nothing I could do about it. I would just have to deal with it.

Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway?

Even though my students were (and are!) influenced by their home lives, I came to understand how much of an influence I have over them while they’re in my classroom. There was something I could do about the state of my classroom, regardless of my students’ parents.

Yes, there was a long way to go, but I knew it was my responsibility to figure out something that would work. I couldn’t tell myself that it was the parents’ fault anymore. I couldn’t ignore the major role I had in the situation. I finally admitted - No matter how difficult a class is, it is the teacher’s responsibility to figure out something that works.

Yes, this can be hard. Yes, students’ home lives can make it harder. But, for the sake of my students and myself, I needed to figure something out.

Don't Like It? Don't Allow It?

So, how do you go about changing your classroom atmosphere? A good rule of thumb is this: If you don’t like the behavior in your classroom, don’t allow it. It’s as simple (and as difficult!) as that.

It seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it? But oftentimes, especially with more difficult classes, we can start to ignore the smaller behavior problems so that we can concentrate on the bigger ones. We think that it’ll save our sanity because we won’t be dealing with behavior as often. However, ignoring the smaller things teaches our already out-of-control class that they can get away with a lot before we actually enforce expectations. Our students know where the line is: what they can get away with and what rules we’re serious about.

So, what if we move the line? What if we enforce expectations the first time?

I’ve heard a story of a parent whose child was out of control. The mom would tell the child no or ask him to do something, but he’d never listen. She was at her wit’s end and asked for help. Her mentor asked if her child would run out into the street.

“No! Of course not!”

“Why not?”

“Because I tell him to stop and he knows I mean it!”

Our students need to know that we mean it the first time. They need to know we’re serious when we tell them the classroom rules, not when they’ve broken the rules for the tenth time.

What Does that Look Like?

If your students interrupt you when you teach, don’t let it go until you can’t handle it any longer. Nip it in the bud and tell your students to stop the first time it happens.

If your class won’t follow directions without you repeating them, give them an incentive to listen the first time.

If you have a class clown, shut it down at the first distracting joke, not the joke that gets the entire class out of control.

If students are being nasty to each other, separate them or help them apologize and move on.

If students avoid their work, make them do it at recess.

If your class misbehaves, don’t allow it.

Period.

Yes, this is easier said than done, but it’s a good start. While it will take effort, the behaviors that are allowed in our classroom are up to us. So, if you don’t like the behavior, don’t allow it.

Help Me, Help You

Maybe you’re thinking that it’s not worth it to put in all this work. Will your effort pay off?

There are two reasons in particular to stop allowing your students to push the boundaries.

First, when you get your classroom under control, it saves your sanity. You won’t go home every day drained from the emotional toll of a chaotic classroom.

You can also spend more of your time teaching your students, instead of redirecting them or repeating yourself over and over again. It’s amazing how much time you can spend distracted by a crazy class instead of teaching.

Another reason to enforce expectations is to benefit your students. A controlled classroom creates a better learning environment. Students have an easier time concentrating on learning when the class isn’t chaotic. It also makes them feel safer, whether they realize it or not. For the sake of your students’ mental health, you need to get your classroom under control.

Start Enjoying Your Class

My class was crazy, and my students and I were suffering for it. I knew I needed to take responsibility for the things that were happening inside my classroom doors. The behavior I didn’t like – I stopped allowing.

I had to try several classroom management strategies for the whole class and for individual students before I made any progress, but I did. I found something that worked, and I started to see my classroom turn around. Then, I started to regain my sanity and stop going home completely drained.

It took a lot of work, but I finally started to enjoy my class instead of going crazy from the misbehaviors I was dealing with.